The day began in the usual way. I awoke looking forward to getting through my to-do list, which had been recently neglected due to some unexpected events. My car started leaking something that required my attention, and the computers and phones at the church stopped working, each taking hours of precious time away from accomplishing the things that I really wanted to do. But that morning, there was hope. Finally, I thought, no more distractions. Today is the day I will get caught up on everything, just in time for the weekend.
As I began working through some unanswered emails, a new one suddenly pops up. It’s from the secretary at the church -the computers and phones were down again. Sensing that this will take some time to fix and knowing she has a lot of work to do, I recommend that she work from home until the problem is solved.
Frustrated, I rush through my list to do what seems most urgent, all the while bemoaning the fact that this is going to be another day of distractions. I jump into the rental car, mine was still in the shop, and headed to the church. As I pulled into the parking lot, a parishioner passed by on the road and pulls in to speak with me. A chance meeting, as I was not intending to be at the church that day, nor was she.
We speak, and she decides to stay for a few minutes to do something in the church while I work to resolve the IT issues. I use my cell to call tech support, and to my surprise, they answer within a few minutes. Shortly afterwards the parishioner comes to me and says that someone just entered the church looking very distraught and wanted to pray. Busy on the phone, I motion to let them in. Thinking to myself that there is a choice to be made here, do I continue on the phone to resolve my tech problems, or do I offer help to the person in the church?
On hold, waiting for an answer from tech support, I began grumbling to myself about the distractions that never end. ‘This is getting to be a bit much, I am on the go every day bouncing from one thing to the next, they are all important, I want to help, but what about me -there is not much left to give.’ The parishioner returns and whispers to me, ‘She really needs to speak with you.’ I offer my card, but then regret it. Jesus then reminds me of this week’s gospel, of having the right priorities in life. I should just hang up and help the person he sent to see me, and worry about the IT issues later. As I was about to hang up the phone, the tech returns and tells me that everything has been fixed. Relieved and grateful, I hang up and invite the person waiting to come into the office and talk.
When people need to talk. I listen. Sometimes for a very long time. Most people who are distraught just need someone to listen. But listening isn’t always so easy. As a priest, people also want to hear what God has to say in return. They want answers to not only why these things have happened to them, but why they happen at all.
These questions are never easy to answer, because simple answers to complex situations never fully resolve the problem.
They often make people feel even worse. I know, I’ve heard them all. It is easy to say things like, ‘Just trust in Jesus’, ‘Don’t worry, God will take care of you,’ or ‘Offer it up to the Lord’, while these may be true, people need something more than just words. They need to feel better about themselves. Often, it’s the caregiver who gives and gives until they run out of things to give, and they feel like they're getting less and less in return. At some point, the well starts to run dry, and all the kind words of hope in the world won’t fill it up. Someone has to fill the well again.
As we continue our conversation, we both come to realize that our chance encounter that day was no chance encounter at all. That we both had something to say to the other about how much is too much to give. Often, the words we speak are also the ones we need to hear. Does Jesus really ask us to give up everything and trust only in his love in return?
He asks us to give up everything, but the everything he asks us to give up is only the things that separate us from God. This is not a simple, careless saying that is meant to solve our problems. It is a principle to live by. When you feel that you have given too much of yourself to others and you feel that you have nothing left to give, try giving that and everything else up to God. He will then fill your well up with something different. Something that the more you give it away, the more you will get in return. It works every time.
May your well never run dry,
Fr. John
